Yep, I'm still alive. 29 years of this so far. Hell, I feel like I'm just warming up at this point. It's only been the past 5 years or so (marriage ftw!) that I feel as if I really have gotten to be myself. Far enough away from the control of the parents to really figure out who I am, and with the awesome sidekick lacewindu to hang out with during the good, bad, and weird.
So what now? Meet more new and interesting people? Find some sort of specialty and dive in to the point where I can add something? Keep doing the 9 to 5? Rear offspring?
Truth be told, I don't really know. Arguably my brothers will probably go down the specialist track, and with their individual geniuses probably will contribute something important to their field. But while the thought of applying myself so much to one area is appealing in a lot of ways, I just don't think I have it in me anymore to focus so much on one task. I feel like I've seen something of life at this point, and I want to look at the broader scope instead of narrowing in.
Kids? No, I don't think so. Maybe when I'm older and wealthier there could be adoption, but right now a dog is all the extra responsibility I need.
Meet new people? I really am liking the hedonistic lifestyle, but at some point it'll slow. And I'm not enough of an extrovert that the idea of a jetski, mansion, and daily parties appleals to me. I need some time away from the crowd. But a good party every couple weekends is certainly worth it.
So that leaves the 9 to 5. Need to keep doing that. Got bills to pay. But you know, ultimately I think I'd like to be a house-hub-hub. I really didn't mind my time cooking, cleaning. repairing, and playing video games. I think it was the fact that I got to set my own schedule every day combined with a sense of accomplishment from knocking out the tasks I had each day that appealed to me. Laci talks of maybe law school somewhere in the future, and while the bills from that scare the crap out of me, maybe that would be a good way forward.
But at least I'm still here, undefeated, ready for the next challenge. I'm my own person now. I say bring it on...
